As I was running this morning (see my other post about running) it struck me that more often than not women need to be their own cheerleader. I’m talking about several different kinds of cheerleading. For instance, mom isn’t on the sidelines cheering at your soccer match anymore and it’s not every day you grace the stage accepting a diploma in front of your screaming family. I’m talking being your own advocate, being the one who gives you adrenaline during a tough workout, being the one to say you look beautiful today, finding your own time to do something just for yourself, and being the one to say go after your dreams and don’t stop until you’ve reached them.
This is not to say that we don’t have people in our lives that push us to better ourselves, like our husband taking the kid(s) for a few hours so you can jump into a yoga class or your son telling you that you look beautiful today (not matter what the ulterior motive may be!). However, more often than not women are taking the backseat on themselves. Why?
For one thing, I think we need to be louder. I often find myself just grinning and bearing it. For example, finding time to do something just for myself is extremely difficult for me. I have a habit of ensuring everything from my husband, to my son, to the dog, to the house, is all set before I think about me. Something that my mother has told me she has done in her life as well. I find this completely unacceptable and I’m mad at myself for allowing that to happen.
Another example is the fact that I have wanted to ask for a raise at work for a long time. While I’m a part-time employee, I have a lot of responsibility and have been doing this role for three years. Yet, when it comes time to have the conversation with my boss, I freeze. Questioning myself instead of being my own advocate.
Think about the last time you had a night out planned with your friend. Did you ask her what she was going to wear? I have done this hundreds of times, but I should instead be dressing for what makes me feel confident and how I want. Not based on what my friend is wearing.
So, how do we practice better habits? We need to start putting ourselves first. Going back to the example of my mom, I can hear her in my head now “I’m falling apart now, because I didn’t take care of myself when I was younger.” Leave the dishes in the sink, and go on that walk. Find a workout class and plan to ask your husband to take the reins. Wear that gorgeous halter dress and heels and not worry if your friend is in jeans and flats. Apply to that graduate program and work as hard as you can at night to fulfill your dream. Being our own cheerleader takes practice and I am certain it does not come easy for a lot of us. Let’s remember how important it is to make us all feel 100% and be 100%. Grab your pom poms and start cheering for yourself!
